Endings

did you see when she winked at me

the never ending monotony

displayed in such brilliant form

as if

to show the world

that she is worth so much more

than the lies you'd have her believe

are her destiny

the lies you'd have her believe that would

change everything

if they ended right. now

ended

and were never said again

you've pushed her to this brink

pushed her to fall

this low

do not push off this blame

do not forget and have no say

do not

harm her anymore in this way

step back

step forward

push her with you

draw back your arms

let go of her

drop the residue

the truth that gleams now away from you

leave behind

Roots

Packed bag

One foot forward

Into tomorrow

The other planted

In the past

And so she stands

With no middle

Just behind

And before

Always the same old

'You'

Store

Of what it is

She needs

To be

What it is

She needs

To see

One foot out the door

The other

Forever planted on the floor

Cover Your Ears::Hear Life

Hands over ears

Supposed silence

But the cacophony remains

Breath

Overcomes the heartbeat

Air

Overtakes the flow

Realization that

Silence

Of desperate cause

Does not exist

Life

Cannot be separated

From the noise

Pain

Cannot be removed

From the joy

Experience blends

In madness

And perfection

Her Haunted Steps

Because you thought it was over

it began again

Because you rose above it all

it broke your back again

Because you flaunted change to the ending

it started round again

Because the silver never shed

it drowned you
Because the words remained unsaid

it choked you

Because the smile wasn't real

it gave you grief

Because it is impossible

it stepped forward again

Because it is unfixable

it became the problem again

Because there is no happy ending

it wrote the final ending

What You Must

Softest of caress

Hair moves slowly through loving touch

Quiet whispers

As fingers move in their own words

Care

Not a word said

Nothing understood

The clamor too loud

For a single moment

Listen

Running to the end

Of everything

Followed by the magnitude

Of just one day

Chase

Alone and distant

Lost amid the the plush of conformity

Vacant grey

Offer the color's that she too holds

Sit

Forever moving forward

Perpetually pulled backward

Plaguing weariness

That has not a word to describe the feeling

Stay

Endless Brink

Precipice

Offers the stand of stay or dive

Fall fast

Remain slow

End quickly

Carry on eternally

Ending muse

Perpetual wish

One last question

Continual 'what if?'

Reasons be damned

Never-ending reasons why

Negative motion

Stuck

Free and giving air

Stifling continuum

Spread arms of ready

Motionless hand stretched toward longing

The Moment

The rest of your Life

--> <--

Drawn together

Torn apart

Held close to a chest

Pushed far out of arms reach

~~So close together~~

More tender than an unwilling tear

The hurt of a slap on cheek

Difference

Same

~~The breath's~~

Languid sentience

Desperate dreamer

Limp before the race

Tense after the finish

~~Infuse for you~~

The risk not believed

The danger closer than a whisper

Lost visionary

Betrayed calling

~~Your destiny~~

What Used To Be

What used to be

Opened and weeping

Is now

Closed and silent

What used to be

Prone to tantrums

Is now

Apathetic

What used to be

Seeking the hidden change

Is now

Hiding from the thought

What used to be

Heartbroken

Is now

A perfect pretense of whole

What used to be

Striving forward into new

Is now

Left behind

What used to be

Pleased by imagined progress

Is now

Disgusted at the sight

What used to be

Dedicated to the cause till death

Is now

A million questions of 'why'

What used to be

Okay with this one way

Is now

Ever seeking a different say

Invisible Devil or P

Put it to your lips,

frown,

and put it down

Pick it back up,

say ah,

and swallow it down

Purchase another one,

because,

it tasted that good

Play with the spot left on the plate,

open wide,

and gulp with shame

Poison to the insides,

ambrosia from without

a life giver

Promise not to have,

another

but those are tired words

Purchase one dead tree,

put pen to end

and give up hope

Persevere with convictions,

found

but so easily forgotten

Painstaking ritual,

for days

until it all fades

Pacify one last craving,

everyday

until it just stays

Peacefully throw a tantrum,

quietly

because it doesn't involve 'me'

Pace from one end,

to the other

Trying to find a way out

With. Every. Step.

With. Every. Step.

Promise the

Pavement

Penance

With. Every. Step.

Trudge along

This day's

Sore back, and

With. Every. Step.

Tell of your

Frustration

With those feet

With. Every. Step.

Keep moving

Forward and

Forthwith

With. Every. Step.

Keep the unbearable

Heat, locked

In your feet

With. Every. Step.

Forget that

Someone

Is watching

With. Every. Step.

Stop caring

Who

Is watching

With. Every. Step.

Keep

Persevering

Onward:: with every step.

Fancy Glass of Life

Happiness on the rocks

Sadness blended cruelly

Poured together

In the fancy glass of life

A tiny umbrella

The protective shield of apathy

Pretty presentation of the

Fancy glass of life

Shatter the glass

Let the ice fall on the floor

Clean up the fallen sadness

With the mop of consternation

Leave the happiness melting

Leave the false shade of apathy

Ignore the shards

Of the fancy glass of life

Move forward

Uninhibited

Move forward into a morning

Free of this constraining cocktail

Us

Noise

Then silence

Buffered

Then echoed

Surrounded

Then lost

Breathing

Then choking

Dancing

Then limping

Fulfilled

Then aching

Supported

Then broken

Remembered

Then forgotten

Joyous

Then devastated

Us

Then me

Atop a Mountain

Standing tall

On one high mountain

Looking at the path from whence she came

It suddenly dawn's

'I have to climb down'

How do you descend

Such perfect places

Without becoming

Weighed down

With the dirt and the hurt

That made you arise

On aching feet

Yet leave with

Clean and gloriously light

Shoulders

That proclaim the story

Of what is used to be

And how it is

Now

And yet the question remains

'Will it stay?'

Newfound Newness

There is newfound

Calm

Circling the room

A newfound

Peace

An ever growing serenity

Healing balm covers the

Burns

That just stopped smoldering

Oil saturates the forehead

Of one penitent

And peaceful sinner

Colors of newfound

Hope

Spew across the room

Dances of re-energized feet

Cover the hard wood

And blend into the end

Raising Up

Raising up

Blackened hands

She screams at the silence

And stifles the words

Raising up

Crimson hands

She flee's from the agony

And stifles the words

Raising up

Blue bruised hands

She shouts into her head

And finally lets out the words

Raising up

White hands of newfound purity

She feels at peace

And continues the conversation

That has patiently waited

Just When

Just when it all was clear

Just when she pegged you as near

Just when the colors weren't smeared

It all came tumbling down

Just when breath came easy

Just when waiting wasn't missed

Just when things weren't considered a mess

It all shattered on the ground

Just when an arm was raised up to praise

Just when a tiny step was taken forward in one daring day

Just when lips began to say '....Today'

It all ended on a discouraging note

Just when change started to sound like it could

Just when everything began to be understood

Just when fingers stopped pointing for good

It all became like it used to be

Someday

The lady on the radio today

Was sad

But she was trying gallantly

To hide her sorrow

As she said

'...No...I haven't taken my ring off yet...'

She hasn't found the courage to

Yet

But she trusts in goodness that

She will

Someday

Someday

She says

I wont think of him everyday

Someday

I wont hold his shirt up to my face

Just to remember

Someday

I'll call the Salvation Army

And they'll take those old clothes away

Someday

We all understand her

Someday

In some regard

Yes,

All of us

There is always something that we let be until

Someday

It wont be our demon anymore

Because we're

Naive

Enough to trust

That

Someday

Actually will come

Do you hope in the movement? Or do you simply…wait?

What is it that we’re waiting, here, at this same spot, in this endless moment, for?

With one step left to move forward, we’re standing still. Without the ability to muster up the courage to just stretch out a hand hesitantly, we hover on the brink--yet never make a move.

But the question is: For what?

Were the dreams too unclear? The flashing lights not bright enough? The fevered desperation not hot enough? The all-consuming NEED too deniable? The truth too unrealistic? The path too clear? The mountain too high? The path too simple? The way to travel all too clear---

The Answer too freeing?

Glance Over Your Shoulder

It doesn't take long to walk away from great experiences, to let the wonder of a childish moment be overtaken with the doubt of 'maturity.' It doesn't take long to forget the happiness of summer days when the heat of summer responsibility sets in again. It doesn't take long. It never does.

How do you keep your childlike response to things? How do you marvel at the brilliance of the blue of the sky after you've been taught the scientific reason for its brilliance? How do you stop yourself from jumping off the jaded bridge of reality so tainted by the lessons of our World.

It doesn't seem fair, to watch children marvel and know that their marvelous, open and utterly innocent souls will be trampled on by the hurts harbored and never forgotten by all of us.

If we do nothing in response to this travesty, if we do nothing but turn away, if we do nothing but secretly hide our regret--then, TODAY, you and I MUST Glance Over Our Shoulder-Holding our thoughts captive, we must remember our innocence, we must mourn the journey we have taken, we must move ahead to restoration, move ahead into a newfound light, move ahead until we don't have to glance over our shoulders to see the breathtaking brilliance of the sky.

Mighty Mouse & Today's Threatened Writing: Jules this is for you

It's not everyday that your mother sings you the 'Mighty Mouse' theme song. (It really isn't.) Thereby, one would have to assume, that to illicit such a momentous response, the occasion must have been a great one--and so, the day itself, must be a great one.

Or not.

But! It could be! And never underestimate the power of the 'Mighty Mouse' theme song--never. Especially when sung in your mother's soprano--and especially not when she's holding her arms out as though she herself is the new and improved Mighty Mommy Mouse...which she might possibly have said she was.

The GINORMOUS wolf spider was slayed and it was Might Mommy Mouse who saved the day!

Today:

You were so

Hot

and then

Cold

with the flavors on the tongue

you taunted

with words

and the sickly sweet of

tasteless

candy that everyone

hands to you when

you

feel

down--

as though the sugar to the brain

helps

when your brain has died from

over thinking

over heating

over doing

over and over and over again

Today:

You are tasteless

The Beginning of the Proverbial End

Joining the masses, unwillingly, I've taken the plunge, dragging my feet, and created one these far too common 'blogs.'

Who came up with the weird and ridiculous name 'blog' anyway? Is it some nerdy teenager who now holds the right to the word and thereby is a millionaire? Or some wise tycoon who knows that words like 'blog' will always be winners?

Either way, here I am world wide web, waiting to be discovered, waiting to be found, waiting to be told words of affirmation. No pressure.